you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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