Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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