what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize