Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize