I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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