you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
