Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
