It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
