All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
