Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
