would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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