This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
