He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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