happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize