Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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