Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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(214): View more from Texas

The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

(336): View more from North Carolina

This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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(613): View more from Ontario

my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

That's the best idea I've heard all day.

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(512): View more from Texas

He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures

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(716): View more from New York

You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.

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