im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
