Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.