All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!