that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize