I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We got so high we made milksteak
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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