after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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