My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
