Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
