What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
