I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
