You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
