somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
