so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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