Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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