so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
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How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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