I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
