Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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