would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
