he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
