his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
