What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize