so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
