dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize