During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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