Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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