a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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