Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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