even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize