yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
