All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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