Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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