Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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