No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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