you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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