I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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