Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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