the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
