it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
