Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
