I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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