Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize