There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
