Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
