ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
