I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
