No more Irish car bombs ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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