so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
