it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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